How to Win Friends and Influence People- A guide to become influential
How to Win Friends and Influence People written by Dale Carnegie is a step-by-step guide to make friends and influence people. The author mentions some easy to do yet such helpful tips that are sure shot way to create an impact on people you want to influence.
Never criticize someone
The author begins How to Win Friends and Influence People’s summary by stating a very simple thing. He urges the readers to not criticize someone guilty in public.
He wants to etch this point in his reader’s brain therefore gives an example. Once an airplane pilot named Bob Hoover was on an air test mission when both the engines of the airplane cut out. He obviously panicked but was able to control the situation with his amazing flying skills. He landed the airplane successfully saving all the people present in it. But could not save the airplane. The reason behind this mishap was a mechanic who accidentally fueled the engine with jet fuel.
The mechanic was scared to death when he learned about his mistake. He was sure that he would be kicked out after this mishap. But to his amazement the pilot didn’t kick him out. Rather requested him to service his plan the next. Now most people might think that the pilot was an idiot. But it is actually the opposite. The pilot gave another chance to the mechanic which would ensure that he would recheck things a hundred times before making such a mistake. He would consider it his responsibility to become worthy of that trust.
Genuinely appreciate people and make them feel special
Another point that the author swears by is making people feel wanted and important. Genuinely appreciating someone does not affect you. But think about the impact that it will create on the person who just received it.
Think about yourself? How do you feel when someone makes you feel important? It makes you realise that they are good people who deserve to be supported, right? Therefore, when they ask you a favor you do it without any hesitations. The same thing applies to you. If you are kind to others and show them that they are genuinely important, then they will support you no matter what.
The author gives an example of Jim Farley, Postmaster General and Chairman of the Democratic National Committee who learnt the names of fifty thousand people. Jim Farley realised very early in his career that people admire the people who remember their name. Therefore, he used this tactic to have an edge over other people. Similarly, Theodore Roosevelt made it a habit of greeting his entire team by their names.
Being an avid listener goes a long way
The next point that holds high importance in How to Win Friends and Influence People short summary is being an avid listener. A good listener not just makes the conversationalist happy but it also expands their own mental horizons. Sigmund Freud was popular as an avid listener which made him a confidant to many people. It is often believed that you can have an impact on someone only when you speak. But the author negates this assumption by saying that a person can even influence by not saying anything.
Make a good first impression by putting a smile on your face
Have you seen people with a contagious smile? Don’t you always feel happy and chirpy around them? Greeting people with a warm infectious smile is a sure shot way to win their heart. Human beings have a natural tendency to like and get influenced by people who are always smiling.
Gracefully accept when you are wrong and try to rectify the mistake
Another nugget of information provided by the author is admitting when you are wrong. A person should not take it on their egos when they are wrong. They must peacefully accept it before someone else points it out. There is no human on this face of earth who has never committed a mistake. And it is a part of human nature to make more mistakes. But that doesn’t mean that they can’t accept it and rectify it. Not accepting the mistake and taking it on one’s ego is what other people resent. It makes a person less likable.
If you want to learn in detail how you can gracefully accept your mistakes without involving your ego, then read How to Win Friends and Influence People book summary which is available on various book summaries websites.
The author has added a bonus tip for all his readers. He states if a person wants to have an edge over others or wants to influence them, then it is very important to act like a barber. By acting like a barber, the author means being a great conversationalist and an avid listener.